Are you an attachment parent who works, struggling to keep those bonds and help your kids transition to independence gracefully?
Do you wonder if your child’s anxiousness or clingy-ness may stem from something you’ve done?
One year ago I had to take the leap from being a part-time WAHM to a mostly full time working mom. I’m back now! But it was hard — I had to take a break from blogging here at hdb and I still worry about the aftershocks… Here’s the gripping tale:
As things got better and better for this blog in terms of traffic, I noticed that my D-man, then aged 1, was getting a bit more clingy. We had moved and that was unsettling for him, of course, but the truth was I was also working more and more. My husband was still finishing up a technical certificate at the local college and we anticipated that his income would enter the picture soon, and before we knew it we found out a new little joy was coming into our lives, so the income part of the equation popped up a notch in the “this is crucial” category.
Then we were forced to face up to the brutal truth:
There were no jobs in our area (especially at this time) in the field hubby was planning to enter. After a bit of investigation, we found that some low pay scale work could possibly surface through a temp agency that would eventually lead to salaried employment with benefits — but he’d have to work his way up the latter by working second shift and possibly some unpaid weekends. Now I’m not saying that a lot of families don’t have to face that situation but we did a little math and came to the conclusion:
As much as we know how much I loved mothering and being part-time WAHM, my current online gig was prepared to give me full time work at easily twice what hubby could make in town.
So we made plans for me to start work full time after our new daughter was born.
To make sure I would still have enough time for the kiddo’s, I had to let go of the blog. Of course, as you know, I kept it online to keep the information out there, but I had to stop writing all those juicy informative, well-researched posts and just focus on making moola.
The good news is that the new career is going well and I’m actually branching out on my own to start a new business focusing on marketing for green businesses and Mompreneurs. It’s frightening but exciting!
Help! SAHM to WAHM to Working Mom Is Hard To Do!
The bad news is that I’m now shouldering lingering Mommy Guilt from the impact the whole process had on D. He’s now 3 years old and went through some rough times when I had both a new baby and a heavy work schedule come into his life at the same time. We were still co-sleeping and in fact I was still nursing when we made the transition over a year ago now. But as an attachment parented child I do think it shocked his system a bit.
Fortunately, my husband was able to take the role of Stay-At-Home-Dad, and we kept many other routines the same for him — part-time days at his nursery school, afternoons with my parents a couple days a week. But despite my enthusiasm for the new business, and for getting back into part-time blogging again now that things have settled into a routine for us, I’m still a bit cautious about D.
Share Your Tips for Working Moms?
If you’re an old follower of the blog or a new subscriber who’s found me online lately, please share your thoughts and your well wishes with me!
Have you found ways to keep the important routines going despite your need to work? Have you learned to find joy in the time you have, even despite the pangs of guilt when you head out the door?
Help me mamas! I’m so glad to be back online and getting social again — how do we take care of ourselves while nurturing our children’s voracious need for our time?