Church at Home: An Alternative Approach to Teaching Spirituality

For some modern families, the Sunday church ritual has become a thing of the past, yet whether due to a sense of lingering guilt or a sense of moral obligation, many still seek a spiritual element in their lives and the lives of their children. Whether you are Christian, practice an alternative religion, or even a non-religious spirituality, sometimes it is simply a question of the right moment coming along, prompting you to take initiative and finally create some concrete routines and activities to teach spirituality and keep you and your family on your spiritual path, while matching your worldview and your lifestyle.

Finding Motivation

That triggering moment came for me finally in the last two weeks. As it is with many things, it was just a question of serendipity mixed with intention and a mind open and ready for change.

Our extended family now crosses borders between religions, and increasingly it has become a topic of conversation. My parents, Christians, have stopped attending church regularly. My brother has recently taken up attending a Unitarian Universalist Church. And my father, feeling guilty, has begun bringing up issues of spirituality in relation to my 12-year old son. With the topic planted firmly in my mind after a heated conversation justifying my own non-theistic spirituality to my father, I was ready to be “open” to things around me.

The first pivotal event came, of all places, at Target. A book-a-holic, I found myself browsing the shelves one day, and spied a new title by His Holiness the Dalai Lama. I have a couple of his books, which are written and translated well, not to mention easy to digest and well-reasoned for the Western reader. This one stopped me in my tracks: How to Practice. There is nothing like a clear, thought out “how-to” to really motivate me to take the steps to get a new routine going. Even when I already essentially know how to, there’s something about that act of hand-holding that gives just the extra bit of confidence to finally make a move. So I bought the book! And then, it sat under a pile for a week…

No, it wasn’t gone completely… I spied it every time I hunted for a page on my desk. It lingered in my memory. I intentionally held on to it. Then, finally, two external motivators pushed me over the edge. My brother began hounding us to try out the local Unitarian Universalist Church, making sure spirituality would not leave the margins of my consciousness. And then, in an unrelated conversation, my husband spoke the magic words as we discussed my spending habits. He, always the spendthrift, questioned whether all my purchases of late were truly justified. “What about that book by the Dalai Lama?” he queried. “Have you opened that up yet?”

A challenge! Aha! It was just what I needed.

Setting A Routine

The very next Sunday morning rolled around, my husband and I both conscious of my brother’s recent admonitions regarding the local Unitarian service. “Are we going today?” he asked as the 10:00 hour approached. We both looked outside at the sky, threatening rain.

“This is what I would like to do,” I replied. “I want to do church at home today. I already have a book picked out.” And so it was. We waited until my mother awoke and we sat in a small circle, so that we could hear each other while the baby napped. We got out How to Practice, and simply began taking turns reading. By sitting in such a small group, it was easy to make sure my pre-teen son stayed on focus, and to double check with a few questions that he was taking it all in. Having had success with our first “home church” day, we’ve made a commitment to either attend a service or do church at home every Sunday.

Teaching Spirituality at Home

It was simple, but truly moving to take action by sitting with the whole family and devoting a time exclusively to our spiritual growth. Though I’ve given books to my son to read before, making sure that he learned about world religions and had ethical materials available to him for problem-solving, it couldn’t compare to the event of sitting together and engaging together on a topic. It also opened us up to various approaches to practice, and I’ve set another goal for myself: research the format of Quaker meetings as another model for our “church at home” sessions.

No matter what your practice or religion, I highly recommend family sessions like these, either as a replacement for or an addition to regular church attendance. They need not be religious, and can simply focus on ethical behavior in the modern world, for example. They can involve readings, or simply discussion.

Now that I’ve written on it, I’ve given myself great motivation to keep up the routine, an important part of any practice! Good luck to you in your efforts as well!

Love,

Mama Hope